Are You Serious?

Are you serious? as if my words were made up and aren’t part of my true life story

as if the pain and emotion I experience as I share road block after road block of my life in letters and words to reach as many people as possible through my testimony is unjustified

Are you serious? as if I lied about being raped twice, molested by people I trusted, not loving myself, and being promiscuous

Are you serious?  as if the countless hours of college homework and sleepless nights I sacrificed for my dreams to come true were all in vain

Are you serious? as if my God doesn’t exist, answer prayers, or the favor He has on my life is void.

Are you serious? as if my heart doesn’t beat, my lungs don’t breath, and my mouth doesn’t speak.

ARE YOU SERIOUS? to question if I have what it takes to be the best selling Author, the most demanded inspirational speaker, and the vessel God has used to touch millions of people lives!

My answer is yes I am serious, my work speaks for itself

Gaze into my eyes see my tears, listen to the rhythm of my heart feel my compassion, embrace me with love, not judgment My SERIOUS CAN’T GET NO MORE SERIOUS THAN THIS!

 

Chunte’ Evans

 

 

 

Mr. Lee

Mr. Lee, a stern owner of an apartment building he turned into a hotel. A great business decision if you ask me. Mr. Lee did not take crap from anyone he was God-fearing but he would curse you out if you disturbed other guests, had animals, drugs, or the obvious didn’t pay your rent. Mr. Lee would threaten to call the police on people and for some reason, he would come to my door and tell me “I didn’t really call the police I just make them think I did, I don’t want to get anyone in trouble ya know”. It was at that moment I knew Mr. Lee had a heart.

Mr. Lee would pray for me every chance he got, he would speak in tongues a foreign one of some sort. Declaring God deliver me from the smoking spirit. At the time I stayed at his hotel I was a smoker, I smoked a lot of cigarettes. Not knowing Mr. Lee was a previous smoker he cared so much he would give me a pack of cigarettes, yes, you heard me right. The catch is the pack of cigarettes would have a man on display with a hole in his throat from throat cancer, caused by smoking. Mr. Lee smoked three packs of cigarettes a day until one day as he put it the Holy Ghost removed the urge to smoke. Mr. Lee desires to be a traveling missionary spreading Gods word all around the world.

I stayed at Mr. Lee’s hotel from 8 November 2017, until January 2018. I had to move out of my 3 bedroom home because it had black mold and the foundation had shifted 3 inches to the left. I must say although It was a short stay Mr. Lee blessed my life, he hosted a hotel Thanksgiving dinner for all the guess of the hotel. He gave discounts on rent and I know he did not want me to go but he did not make the moving out process difficult for me. Forever have a love for Mr. Lee.

Puzzled Pieces

Tears drip, fall gracefully

Sanity drops with every ache in me

Drip, footprints in cotton candy sheets,

I’m not who she was when  you met me,

Fear has become fight,

Sanity……well… it’s in the eye of the bill folder, says the man,

Him who wants nor needs anything…well…except value!

Tears drip, why did he save me?

What value does He, the Most High, see…in…me?

Facts! He loves me

Jesus…loves…me!

My faith is my heartbeat

My love is my H2O, But,

why don’t I love me???

A mystery it seems I’ll never know.

Chunte’ Evans 7/2018

Ambition

Sleep is for the dead

Tired, is an excuse in some weary man’s head

Pain is a muscle emotion, keep going until the pain becomes pleasure

Aches are scratches underneath the skin, or a feather underneath your feet, let it tickle until you smile within

I look in the mirror I see the first Black female President

My strength is a roar that dangles the King of the Jungle in the air by his tail

My mind is a ready sponge soaking up the facts of life, stashed away in my head like books on a shelf

Pages and pages of goals and achievements

my vision and destiny is what I believe in

It keeps me going even when deep down inside I have no idea how I keep breathing

how I put one foot in front of the other, or smile when the King of the Jungle is on my heels and my roar now feels like a frog in my throat

I keep going that’s for sure, I’ve learned how to move forward and push through

Victory is my title, but ambition is my name.

Hospital Stay

Once I was sick, a 14-day stay.

Veins filled with antibiotics to flush the bacteria away.

Doctor Doctor

“here let me pray for you,” he said, a crystal tied to a string like an ornament dangling from his index finger.

this will take your sickness away, give me your palm and watch the string and crystal play.

I knew this was wicked, especially when the Doctor started talking about dreamers, warlocks, and the 4 different colors people bleed and what the colors mean.

Pastor Pastor

my body is weak, this witch doctor is trying to trap my soul for keeps.

Pastor comes to the hospital, immediately the doctor walks out of my room, my help had arrived packing blessed oil and ready to preach.

Pastor blessed the room, blessed my head, and hands;

peaceful was my hospital stay to the very end.

 

 

 

Knock Knock Knock

Three knocks, visual of a fist pounding a wooden door

no, body or face, just a name LUST

Lust would knock dying to come in, fear would be the key

if only I choose to give in

The Blood of Jesus is against you I would say

yet, all night the knocks would play, once even during the day

Lust intimidates, and refuses to leave

if I want Lust to go, my faith must grow.

Three days sober, peace indeed, Lust is not my friend

with faith, I defeated! in Jesus name

Lust knocks no more, the end has come

rest in hell till judgment comes

 

How Many Times

How many times have we got away with it?

Whatever it may be

lies, murder, lust, slander, envy, jealousy, addictions, violating the opposite or same sex, abuse, misbehaving, attitudes; the list goes on.

How many times have we got away with it??

Casting judgment, damnation,  and or punishment on another when our hands are guilty of something as well; sets us up to be judged with the same words and systems in which we judge.

Sin is a sin, no big, no small…one word defines

Before we judge we must ask ourselves how many times?

Treasure in the Storm

Words do not define me.

YOU DO NOT QUALIFY!

LOUD is my warrior cry

Throw rocks and hide your hands

I know His grace is sufficient.

no weapon formed against me shall prosper.

God says I’m blessed; then, I am blessed!

God says Yes!

whose “no” holds any weight?

God says the battle is the Lords, I BELIEVE!

God says I AM a present help in the time of trouble; I stand in peace!

The name of the LORD is a strong tower, the righteous run to Him and they are safe.

I LEAN ON MY SAFETY!

O LORD, MY LORD

My tears are not in vain, nor is my pain.

 

Aftermath

All I can think about is what does this mean?

Why did I give my current address?

Is this a warning?

I am puzzled, the front of my head hurts, my chest is hot as fire, my feet are cold as ice, and my hands are shivering

Now every sound I hear is echoed as I try to make sense of it

Should I sit here, or take flight?

 

PTSD/Nightmares

In the begining, for some reason, there were 2 hospital bathrooms I was locked in one with a police officer she was a blonde and White I never met her before.

In the other hospital bathroom was my ex-husband Joseph, some black guy with shorts I did not know, and a police officer she was blonde and White I never met her before

Out the blue, I hear one shot in the bathroom Joseph, the Officer, and the black guy was

Then the scenery changed, I was now outside the bathroom in the hallway of the hospital between the two bathrooms…once I stopped spinning I looked to the left and saw the bathroom Joseph was in. The female officer had been shot over the toilet, her face was in the toilet bowl, some of her long blonde hair was in a ponytail, and some was draped over the toilet. I saw a big spot of blood in the back of her head.

The black guy was in shock just standing there, and Joseph was gone to the front of the building with the gun looking for his next target.

I screamed to the other officer not to open the door no matter what, she did not listen Joseph shot her in the chest

I ran into the bathroom where this black guy was and the dead officer and locked the door, once I turned around the black guy was gone, the officer was gone, and the scene changed to my father’s bathroom where both bathrooms are connected by the shower room

I knew Joseph bathroom was now connected and If he got to me he would shoot me, but Joseph was now in the hallway outside the bathroom. I had time to lock the bathroom door. once I locked it I climbed out the window and went to the neighbor’s house for help. it was a white beautiful house I never saw before, but I knew the woman because she was my hair client except instead of her having two daughters she had two sons.

I went into her house and told her to call 911, she did not want to, so I took her phone and did it myself, and told her to make sure everything was locked and stay away from the windows because my ex-husband is trying to kill me. so she went to make sure everything was locked but she locked her boys outside on the porch, they were playing with a basketball.

the 911 operator answered the phone and I was screaming telling her to please send help to…and I gave her my address but the address I gave her was my current address where I stay now, not my father’s address which was in a different state, nor the neighbor’s house which I had never seen before

the fact I gave the operator my current address was such a shock to me I paused in talking to her long enough to see Joseph outside the neighbors house with a gun trying to find an unlocked door to get in.

I started talking to the operator again as I ducked down behind the cabinets because I figured if I could see Joseph he could see me. I told the operator Joseph had shot 2 female officers for no reason and now he is after me, he is currently outside my neighbor’s house trying to get in and he has a gun…….then I woke up